The Potion and the Biscuit
by xOmudbloodprincessxO
Summary: Ron and Harry plan to make Malfoy go mental by making him eat a biscuit with Mental Potion in it, but Hermione, Luna, Ginny, and every other Gryfinndor go mental instead. Oneshot, some hhr shippy crap. Tons of OOCs, so beware!


**By Request here is…** **Another Humor 1-shot by the mildly unstable but still very awesome Sara…**

The Potion and the Biscuit (taking place in 7th year, 6th year for Ginny and Luna)

"Ginny, what are you doing?" Ron asked Ginny as she took a bite out of a biscuit at breakfast.

"I'm milking a cow. What does it look like I'm doing?" she retorted, and this comment made Luna, how was sitting across the aisle at the Ravenclaw table, snort her orange juice. Ron and Harry exchanged glances.

"Did you by any chance get that biscuit from that tin that was silver?" Harry inquired.

"Um, yeah. Why is it illegal or something?" Ginny replied. Harry and Ron watched her take the last bite of the biscuit. "Well, I've got class…" she said, picking up her backpack and walking away from the table.

"I think that was the one we put the potion in," Harry told Ron. Ron just looked flabbergasted. "Hold it- Hermione, please don't tell me you got that biscuit you just finished out of the silver tin."

"Bub is dat bad?" she said as she swallowed it.

"Come again?"

"Why is that bad? Well, I'll meet you in Defense. I've got to go to the library…" and with that, she walked out of the great hall too.

"Okay this isn't good. How many of you ate a biscuit out of the silver tin?" Ron asked the tables surrounding him. Seven of them raised their hands.

"Crap." Harry whispered distantly.

"Ron, how can you be so stupid as to actually put the silver tin on the Gryffindor table instead of the Slytherin? I mean, we wanted MALFOY to act mental! Not Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, Dennis, Parvati, Faith, Haylie, Neville, and Seamus!"

"Well, what will we do? I mean, by 2nd period they should all be mental!" Ron said.

"Well there's nothing we can do…"

"How does that potion work again?"

"You put it in food, and the victims eat it, and about an hour after, they act mental!"

"We should give one to Luna…"

"What good would that do? I mean, hello, she's ALREADY MENTAL!"

But Ron ignored this fact as he carried the silver tin over to where he saw Luna was in the entrance hall.

"Want a biscuit?" he asked her. She nodded and took one. Ron smiled to himself as he walked over to where Harry was.

"Great, Ron. Now what about MALFOY?"

Later that night

Ron walked down the stairs from the boy's dormitories. It was a madhouse in the common room; nine figures were acting mental. He spotted where Harry was sitting on the couch. And, oddly enough, Hermione had her head in his lap. Her hair was done one side in a ponytail, the other in a tangled mess. She mumbled some unknown song that sounded like "Merry Christmas." Harry was smiling down at her.

"Holdup. Are you enjoying this?" Ron asked Harry.

"What? Oh, no, no. Of course not!" Harry answered, laughing nervously.

Meanwhile, Haylie was starting a cha-cha line; Seamus was picking invisible bugs out of Parvati's hair, Dennis was running around like a rampaging bull, and then Voldemort came in! No, no…Wrong story. Sorry. Now Hermione had started kissing Harry…_Wait one second. Hermione started to kiss Harry_. Ron thought. _She's officially gone mental…_

But Harry was thoroughly enjoying himself. Hermione had stopped mumbling and had taken to kissing him softly on the lips every few seconds. Dennis Creevy had decided to join the cha-cha line; Lavender had conjured up a karaoke stage and was singing Backstreet Boys;

"Harry! We have a counter potion to find!" Ron said, hitting Harry on the back of the head.

"Ah do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes!"

"But I shouldn't leave Herm here, now should I? She could just start making out with one of the other guys!"

"Fine then bring her with you for all I care!" He was being rather sarcastic, but Harry didn't realize it. He got up, took Hermione's hand, and they walked out of the portrait hole. _This is getting stranger by the minute. _Ron thought as the cha-cha line passed him.

Ron hurried to catch up with Harry and Hermione. He found them; Hermione was humming another tune. Ron sighed when Luna came out of the darkness.

"The British are coming! The British are coming!" she was shouting.

"No duh we are the British…"

Then Luna started to shout other things from random muggle movies.

"They're her-e! I'm going to bed before either of you get us killed, or worse expelled! I'll be Bach! Luke I am your father! There's no place like home!"

"Yeah we need to find a counter potion fast." he sprinted down the corridor towards the library, and Harry followed, leaving Hermione and Luna alone.

The next morning

Everything was back to normal. Luna wasn't shouting random muggle things, the cha-cha line was gone, Seamus stopped acting like a monkey, and the rest acted normal. Well, except for one thing that Harry had purposely forgotten…

Hermione was kissing Harry on the lips again.

"What in the-" Ron started when he saw them kissing. " You know what? I'm not even going to ask."


End file.
